My husband and I are diametrically different. And it’s good that we are because if either of us had married someone more similar to our own personalities, it probably wouldn’t have ended well for many different reasons. But if you name a characteristic of his- I am his opposite. For his loud, I am quiet. For his energy, I am sedentary. For his bravery, I am timid. For his dark, masculine style, I am clean, white, and neutral.
So when it came time for us to have kids, everyone assumed our children would be just like him, especially if we had a boy. For some reason, people tend to assume a little boy is going to be just like his dad, and the same stereotype for girls. And there are certainly aspects of our son’s personality that are so very much his dad- he loves hard. Hard. And that is one of my favorite qualities in my husband- his unending devotion to those he loves. But our son is also very particular about who he loves- he isn’t free with his hugs. He doesn’t let just anyone hold him. He needs the comfort of those in his home. He needs his mom and his dad and his dog and his trains. And that’s about it. And wow, is that me.
It’s amazing how having children and watching their personalities grow teaches you so much about who you are. When we moved our son to a toddler bed, he instantly climbed in and climbed right back out. When we take him to the park he immediately looks for a way to leave. Not because he doesn’t want to play, but because, like his mom, he is always looking for a way out. He’s always looking for the exit. And it isn’t just a fear of being trapped or contained. I mean, it is, but It’s also a fear of committing- to one slide, to one sandbox. Because what is that slide isn’t right and you have go find another slide after all the work you put in getting up onto this one? What if you fall off because you picked a slide that was too big for you? What is there’s a spider in the sandbox that will bite you and send you to the emergency room?
We wish so much more for our children. We hope they have things we didn’t have and are blessed with rich experiences and memories. And I hope that our kiddo learns to be more optimistic about life and the people in it. I hope he finds a ton of slides and sandboxes and isn’t afraid to explore them all. I hope he understands that there are consequences to your actions and to think before you speak (all me). But I also hope he is passionate and takes chances (all his dad). I hope he is realistic about what it takes to make something happen (me) but that he dreams BIG and has high expectations of life (dad, for sure).
He has so much to learn and so much growing to do so it’s exciting to see who he is going to become. And I hope he gets the best from both of us. And while it’s clear he is a little mama and a little dada, I hope he is all Wyatt.